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▲+110▼
What do you call someone else's cheese?
Nacho Cheese!
1802 votes · ·
▲+257▼
What type of music do mummies listen to?
WRAP MUSIC!
1761 votes · ·
▲+460▼
A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
1668 votes · ·
▲+453▼
What does a vegan zombie eat?
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!!
1771 votes · ·
▲+715▼
What do you call a psychic dwarf who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
2333 votes · ·
▲+449▼
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private Tutor!
1927 votes · ·
▲-407▼
What does a Mexican put under his carpet?
Underlay! Underlay!
1797 votes · ·
▲+1053▼
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him: "You need to stop masturbating."
"Why?" the man asks. The doctor replies: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
2551 votes · ·
▲+143▼
A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
3083 votes · ·
▲-446▼
What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts
2420 votes · ·
▲-148▼
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder.
1884 votes · ·
▲-1201▼
Why did princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
3983 votes · ·
▲+633▼
What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
2609 votes · ·
▲-481▼
Why do penguins walk softly?
Because they can't walk hardly.
1805 votes · ·
▲-403▼
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Can I get a ...... Martini?"
The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
1921 votes · ·

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