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▲-394▼
Knock knock.
Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!
2472 votes · ·
▲+2▼
So my wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turns out she just wanted to do laundry.
So I folded.
2 votes · ·
▲+25▼
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila!!
2607 votes · ·
▲+2▼
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
2 votes · ·
▲-894▼
A man walks into a bar.
He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.
3760 votes · ·
▲+179▼
I might have an open casket funeral…
Remains to be seen.
1589 votes · ·
▲+1▼
What do you call a dancing chicken?
Poultry in motion!
5 votes · ·
▲0▼
Flight Attendant: "Window or Aisle?"
"Window or you'll what?"
0 votes · ·
▲+2▼
Knock knock.
Who's there?Opportunity.Opportunity who?
That's impossible, opportunity doesn't knock twice!
2 votes · ·
▲+1154▼
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
3506 votes · ·
▲0▼
What kind of car does an egg drive?
A Yolkswagen!
2 votes · ·
▲-503▼
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because gorillas have big fingers.
2161 votes · ·
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How did the Scotsman find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying!
2446 votes · ·
▲+1▼
What kind of kebabs are eaten in libraries?
Shush Kebabs!
5 votes · ·
▲-2▼
What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope!
4 votes · ·

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