Worst Rated Family & Relationships Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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I slept with a woman who cooked a ton of pasta last night.
She gave me carbs!
2003 votes · ·
▲-586▼
What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!
1564 votes · ·
▲-529▼
What did the astronaut's fiancée say when he proposed in open space?
I can't breathe!
2621 votes · ·
▲-421▼
What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you.
2411 votes · ·
▲-418▼
Where do cows go for a first date?
To the moooovies!
2340 votes · ·
▲-78▼
What is the number one cause of divorce?
Marriage!
4426 votes · ·
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What do an anesthesiologist and an Italian mother have in common?
The first question out of their mouth is always "How long has it been since you ate?"
0 votes · ·
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Our wedding was so beautiful…
even the cake was in tiers!
2 votes · ·
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Why is it hard to date a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
Because they have no body to love!
0 votes · ·
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What do you call twins who live together?
Womb-mates!
0 votes · ·
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My wife gave me an ultimatum: it's either her, or my addiction to sweets…
The decision was a piece of cake!
0 votes · ·
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Whats the worst thing about being an egg?
You only get laid once and it's by your mother!
0 votes · ·
▲+1▼
It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
It's a faux pa.
1 vote · ·
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When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
1 vote · ·

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