318 Dad Jokes that will leave you grounded.

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  Why don’t mummies take time off?

  They’re afraid to unwind!

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  Where does a ghost go on vacation?

  Mali-boo!

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  Why did the headless horseman go into business?

  He wanted to get ahead in life!

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  Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?

  Because they have no body to love!

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  Is this pool safe for diving?

  It deep ends!

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  Why are elevator jokes so good?

  Because they work on many levels!

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  Wanna hear a joke about paper?

  Never mind— it's tearable!

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  How do lawyers say goodbye?

  We'll be suing ya!

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  It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.

  It's a faux pa.

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  If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…

  are they guilty of resisting a rest?

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  Why can't you hear a psychiatrist go to the bathroom?

  Because the 'P' is silent!

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  I've got a great joke about construction…

  but I'm still working on it!

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  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

  It's impossible to put down!

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  Did you hear the rumor about butter?

  Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

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  I'm not worried about the moon getting too full

  It's just a phase!

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