13 Marriage Jokes for Better or Worse

▲-1▼
Our wedding was so beautiful…
even the cake was in tiers!
1 vote ·
▲+151▼
My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
729 votes ·
▲+695▼
What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2149 votes ·
▲-79▼
What is the number one cause of divorce?
Marriage!
4425 votes ·
▲+218▼
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?
Feyoncé!
2902 votes ·
▲-529▼
What did the astronaut's fiancée say when he proposed in open space?
I can't breathe!
2621 votes ·
▲+2153▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3889 votes ·
▲+27▼
What didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
2225 votes ·
▲+710▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1984 votes ·
▲+710▼
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2302 votes ·
▲+22▼
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila!!
2602 votes ·
▲+632▼
What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
2606 votes ·
▲-892▼
A man walks into a bar.
He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.
3756 votes ·