333 Fully Groan Puns So Bad They're Good

• ▲+1▼

  I quit my job after what the boss said to me.

  What did he say? Youre fired!

  1 vote · Copy

• ▲0▼

  What did the dwarf say to the pint of beer?

  I could drink you under the table!

  0 votes · Copy

• ▲0▼

  An inebriated dwarf stumbles into a bar.

  Dwarf: Hey, barkeep, a pint of beer pease. Bartender: Sorry mate, I cant serve you. Dwarf: Why not? Bartender: Because you're a little drunk!

  0 votes · Copy

• ▲-1▼

  Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?

  He was picking his nose!

  1 vote · Copy

• ▲0▼

  Whats the difference between the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper?

  Nothing, they both orbit Uranus wiping out Klingons!

  0 votes · Copy

• ▲-1▼

  Why did the blind man fall In the well?

  Because he couldn’t see that well!

  1 vote · Copy

• ▲+1▼

  What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?

  You crack me up!

  1 vote · Copy

• ▲0▼

  Why did the golfer change his pants?

  Because he got a hole in one!

  0 votes · Copy

• ▲-152▼

  I heard Mars has no atmosphere.

  Could we create an atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz?

  742 votes · Copy

• ▲+151▼

  My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.

  Is she calculating velocity?

  729 votes · Copy

• ▲-368▼

  How has the price of opinions remained $0.02 over the years even after inflation?

  678 votes · Copy

• ▲+10▼

  Did you hear the joke about the king?

  It ruled!

  768 votes · Copy

• ▲+163▼

  What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat?

  Banned from the petting petting zoo!

  739 votes · Copy

• ▲+360▼

  What's so special about bullets?

  They're the only things that do their job after they're fired!

  690 votes · Copy

• ▲+140▼

  How does Harry Potter go down the hill?

  Walking. JK, rolling!

  738 votes · Copy