16 Actually Funny Bars & Drinking Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
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A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2301 votes · ·
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Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila!!
2603 votes · ·
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What did the dwarf say to the pint of beer?
I could drink you under the table!
2 votes · ·
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A woman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "what'll it be?" to which she replies, "I'll have a double entendre."
So he gave it to her.
1 vote · ·
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A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
0 votes · ·
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A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
0 votes · ·
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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a job.
The bartender says "A talking dog! You should be in the circus!" The dog says "Why would a circus need a bartender?"
0 votes · ·
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An inebriated dwarf stumbles into a bar.
Dwarf: Hey, barkeep, a pint of beer pease. Bartender: Sorry mate, I cant serve you. Dwarf: Why not? Bartender: Because you're a little drunk!
0 votes · ·
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1, 2, and 3 walk into a bar. 2 asks for a drink.
"You're mean," says the bartender.
0 votes · ·
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A joke walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Whoa, I never meta joke before!"
0 votes · ·
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What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine!
0 votes · ·
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A three legged dog walks into a bar and says,
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
0 votes · ·
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A horse walks into a bar.
Several patrons got up and left as they recognized the potential danger in the situation.
2478 votes · ·
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A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Can I get a ...... Martini?"
The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
1920 votes · ·

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