42 One-Liners for Kids | Good Bad Jokes

▲+2709▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5247 votes · ·
▲+2442▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4457 votes · ·
▲+2157▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3895 votes · ·
▲+1296▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3002 votes · ·
▲+933▼
I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2123 votes · ·
▲+919▼
The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2289 votes · ·
▲+886▼
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they're never gonna meet.
2062 votes · ·
▲+507▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2635 votes · ·
▲+494▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1814 votes · ·
▲+427▼
Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1171 votes · ·
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I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is!"
1874 votes · ·
▲+6▼
Poop jokes aren't my favorite kind of dad jokes...
But they are a solid number two!
6 votes · ·
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My dog used to chase people on a bike.
It got so bad, I had to take his bike away!
3 votes · ·
▲+3▼
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
3 votes · ·
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
2 votes · ·

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