38 One-Liners for Kids | Good Bad Jokes

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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5239 votes · ·
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4451 votes · ·
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3889 votes · ·
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I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3000 votes · ·
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I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2121 votes · ·
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The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2287 votes · ·
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Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they're never gonna meet.
2061 votes · ·
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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
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I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1812 votes · ·
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Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1170 votes · ·
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I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is!"
1872 votes · ·
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My dog used to chase people on a bike.
It got so bad, I had to take his bike away!
2 votes · ·
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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
2 votes · ·
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One day the Canadians will take over the world…
Then you'll all be sorry!
1 vote · ·
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I used to hate facial hair…
but then it grew on me!
1 vote · ·

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