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What's the difference between the oral and the rectal thermometers?
The taste!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
It wasn't. Numbers aren't sentient and can't feel fear.
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What's white and annoying at breakfast?
An avalanche!
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What did the man say when he lost his truck?
Where's my truck?!
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What do you call a dog with no back legs and balls of steel?
Sparky!
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Why can't you tell a kleptomaniac a joke?
Because they take everything, literally.
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Did you know that antelopes can jump higher than a house?
This is due to their incredibly powerful legs, and the fact that houses can't jump.
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Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
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How many Zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the lightbulb must change from within.
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Why can't the Buddhist vacuum under the sofa?
Because he has no attachments!
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
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Did you hear about the man who accidentally drank some invisible ink?
He's in the hospital emergency room, waiting to be seen!
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Why is it hard to date a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.
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What is the difference between an asteroid and a meatball?
One is meteor!
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