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▲-421▼
What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you.
2411 votes · ·
▲+580▼
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1966 votes · ·
▲+472▼
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2124 votes · ·
▲+360▼
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!
2120 votes · ·
▲+493▼
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1935 votes · ·
▲-594▼
What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut!
1780 votes · ·
▲+493▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1813 votes · ·
▲-472▼
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
1946 votes · ·
▲-38▼
What did the wall say to the ceiling?
I'll meet you at the corner.
2100 votes · ·
▲+336▼
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off it's tail... it will be delighted!
1718 votes · ·
▲-416▼
Where do cows go for a first date?
To the moooovies!
2342 votes · ·
▲-1727▼
Who told the gorilla that he couldn't go to the ballet?
Just the people who are in charge of that decision.
3247 votes · ·
▲+1137▼
How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2445 votes · ·
▲+427▼
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
2165 votes · ·
▲-499▼
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
2009 votes · ·

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