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What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope!
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A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo".
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Why are pediatricians always angry?
They have little patients!
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Doctor, Doctor, I'm shrinking!
I'm sorry sir, you'll have to be a little patient.
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What do an anesthesiologist and an Italian mother have in common?
The first question out of their mouth is always "How long has it been since you ate?"
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
It wasn't. Numbers aren't sentient and can't feel fear.
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What's white and annoying at breakfast?
An avalanche!
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What did the man say when he lost his truck?
Where's my truck?!
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Why can't you tell a kleptomaniac a joke?
Because they take everything, literally.
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Did you know that antelopes can jump higher than a house?
This is due to their incredibly powerful legs, and the fact that houses can't jump.
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Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
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Don't make the same mistakes twice.
Say NO to reincarnation!
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How many Zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the lightbulb must change from within.
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Why can't the Buddhist vacuum under the sofa?
Because he has no attachments!
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
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