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▲+911▼
Why does Piglet smell?
Because he plays with Pooh.
2133 votes · ·
▲+773▼
Two bananas are lying on a riverbank when a turd goes floating by.
The turd yells to the bananas, "hey guys, come on in, the water feels great!" One banana looks at the other banana and says, "do you believe that shit?"
2197 votes · ·
▲+89▼
What did the Leper tell the prostitute?
Keep the Tip!
1773 votes · ·
▲+568▼
A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street. A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up and says, "What the fuck was *that* all about!?"
2102 votes · ·
▲+1053▼
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him: "You need to stop masturbating."
"Why?" the man asks. The doctor replies: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
2551 votes · ·
▲+633▼
What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
2609 votes · ·
▲+589▼
What did the perverted frog say?
"Rubbit"
2055 votes · ·
▲-586▼
What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!
1564 votes · ·
▲+1▼
Knock knock.
Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? ಠ_ಠ 💩
1 vote · ·
▲-148▼
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder.
1884 votes · ·

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