314 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

▲+157▼
What kind of dinosaur has the biggest vocabulary?
A Thesaurus!
2013 votes · ·
▲+151▼
My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
729 votes · ·
▲+148▼
What did the doe say coming out of the woods?
Boy, I'll never do that again for two bucks!
1200 votes · ·
▲+143▼
A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
3083 votes · ·
▲+141▼
How does Harry Potter go down the hill?
Walking. JK, rolling!
739 votes · ·
▲+137▼
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You check for fresh prince!
2025 votes · ·
▲+126▼
What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?
Ones really heavy, and the other's a little lighter!
1808 votes · ·
▲+123▼
Knock knock.
Who's there? Europe. Europe who? No *you're* a poo!
2481 votes · ·
▲+116▼
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEE🎶
1322 votes · ·
▲+110▼
What do you call someone else's cheese?
Nacho Cheese!
1802 votes · ·
▲+103▼
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
3275 votes · ·
▲+94▼
Knock knock.
Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel!
2074 votes · ·
▲+89▼
What did the Leper tell the prostitute?
Keep the Tip!
1773 votes · ·
▲+77▼
Why did Vladimir Putin fail all his tests in school?
Because he was always Russian!
617 votes · ·
▲+72▼
Where does the king keep his armies?
Up his sleevies
2452 votes · ·

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