383 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5786 votes · ·
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5256 votes · ·
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
5922 votes · ·
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4466 votes · ·
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get in!
4873 votes · ·
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3898 votes · ·
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
4463 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
4089 votes · ·
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
Snow balls!
4048 votes · ·
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
3739 votes · ·
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Knock knock.
Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
3410 votes · ·
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What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
3563 votes · ·
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Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!"
3818 votes · ·
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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3687 votes · ·
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Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.
3085 votes · ·

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