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▲+1560▼
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3686 votes · ·
▲+1503▼
What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
3538 votes · ·
▲+1500▼
Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.
3084 votes · ·
▲+1446▼
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
3410 votes · ·
▲+1395▼
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball!
3413 votes · ·
▲+1391▼
Why should you not write with a dull pencil?
Because it's pointless.
3079 votes · ·
▲+1359▼
What do we want?
LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do we want them? NNNEEEEEOOOOOWWWwwwwww…
3493 votes · ·
▲+1297▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3003 votes · ·
▲+1277▼
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted!
2911 votes · ·
▲+1245▼
Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because they lift their spirits!
3265 votes · ·
▲+1221▼
What is a duck's favourite drug?
Quack!
2845 votes · ·
▲+1192▼
And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2360 votes · ·
▲+1154▼
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
3504 votes · ·
▲+1137▼
How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2447 votes · ·
▲+1135▼
What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?
Mufasa!
3915 votes · ·

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