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▲+1558▼
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3682 votes · ·
▲+1502▼
What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
3537 votes · ·
▲+1498▼
Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.
3082 votes · ·
▲+1444▼
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
3406 votes · ·
▲+1392▼
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball!
3406 votes · ·
▲+1386▼
Why should you not write with a dull pencil?
Because it's pointless.
3074 votes · ·
▲+1358▼
What do we want?
LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do we want them? NNNEEEEEOOOOOWWWwwwwww…
3492 votes · ·
▲+1296▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3000 votes · ·
▲+1274▼
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted!
2906 votes · ·
▲+1241▼
Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because they lift their spirits!
3261 votes · ·
▲+1221▼
What is a duck's favourite drug?
Quack!
2843 votes · ·
▲+1192▼
And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2358 votes · ·
▲+1152▼
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
3500 votes · ·
▲+1136▼
How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2442 votes · ·
▲+1134▼
What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?
Mufasa!
3910 votes · ·

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