318 Dad Jokes that will leave you grounded.

• ▲+2465▼

  What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

  The guardians of the galaxy!

  5913 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-1030▼

  Where do skunks go to pray?

  The pew!

  2736 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1100▼

  What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

  Cashew!

  3326 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-260▼

  What do you call a fish with no eyes?

  A fsh!

  4242 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+163▼

  Voldemort: Knock Knock.

  Harry Potter: Who's There? Voldemort: You Know. Harry Potter: You Know Who? Voldemort: Exactly!

  3043 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1020▼

  Knock knock.

  Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!

  3799 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+2442▼

  I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.

  It's something I could really see myself doing!

  4451 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+3▼

  What did one twin say to the other?

  There's not enough womb in here for the two of us!

  2733 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+327▼

  What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

  Eye-matey!

  2737 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-179▼

  Why did the snowman have a smiley face?

  Because he heard the snowblower was coming!

  3741 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+218▼

  What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?

  Feyoncé!

  2902 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+931▼

  What does a clock do when it's hungry?

  It goes back four seconds!

  3375 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-811▼

  What rhymes with "boo" and really stinks?

  You!

  3493 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+2704▼

  A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.

  He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!

  5238 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-1810▼

  What's colourful and smart?

  A brainbow!

  4094 votes · Copy ·