318 Dad Jokes that will leave you grounded.

• ▲+1668▼

  Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

  Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!"

  3812 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+233▼

  What did Snow White say when she came out of the photobooth?

  Someday my prints will come…

  2715 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+680▼

  Why cant zoo animals take tests?

  There are too many cheetahs!

  3269 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-1029▼

  Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

  It was driving down the road when it suddenly turned into a field!

  3883 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+807▼

  Why did the tomato blush?

  Because it saw the salad dressing!

  3559 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+853▼

  Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?

  Because he was too far out!

  3333 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+872▼

  What do you do when there's a sink standing outside your door?

  You let that sink in.

  3274 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1392▼

  Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

  Because she kept running from the ball!

  3406 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+2112▼

  What do you call a belt made out of watches?

  A waist of time!

  4458 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+3070▼

  I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.

  I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!

  5773 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+627▼

  What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?

  A condescending con descending.

  3061 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-938▼

  What do hillbillies drink out of?

  Hiccups!

  2652 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-1216▼

  What is made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

  Trombones!

  3070 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+2309▼

  Why are there fences around a graveyard?

  Because people are dying to get in!

  4867 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1241▼

  Why do ghosts love elevators?

  Because they lift their spirits!

  3261 votes · Copy ·