32 Actually Funny Family Jokes for Better or Worse | Good Bad Jokes

▲-78▼
What is the number one cause of divorce?
Marriage!
4426 votes · ·
▲+2▼
What did one twin say to the other?
There's not enough womb in here for the two of us!
2734 votes · ·
▲-529▼
What did the astronaut's fiancée say when he proposed in open space?
I can't breathe!
2621 votes · ·
▲+2157▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3893 votes · ·
▲-421▼
What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you.
2411 votes · ·
▲-418▼
Where do cows go for a first date?
To the moooovies!
2340 votes · ·
▲+427▼
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
2165 votes · ·
▲+27▼
What didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
2225 votes · ·
▲-973▼
I slept with a woman who cooked a ton of pasta last night.
She gave me carbs!
2003 votes · ·
▲+710▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1984 votes · ·
▲+709▼
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2303 votes · ·
▲+1616▼
My grandad has the heart of a lion…
…and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2710 votes · ·
▲+191▼
My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1710 votes · ·
▲-586▼
What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!
1564 votes · ·
▲+23▼
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila!!
2605 votes · ·

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