33 Actually Funny Family Jokes for Better or Worse | Good Bad Jokes

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What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2151 votes · ·
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What is the number one cause of divorce?
Marriage!
4427 votes · ·
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What did one twin say to the other?
There's not enough womb in here for the two of us!
2734 votes · ·
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What did the astronaut's fiancée say when he proposed in open space?
I can't breathe!
2621 votes · ·
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3898 votes · ·
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What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you.
2412 votes · ·
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Where do cows go for a first date?
To the moooovies!
2343 votes · ·
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What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
2168 votes · ·
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What didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
2226 votes · ·
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I slept with a woman who cooked a ton of pasta last night.
She gave me carbs!
2010 votes · ·
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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1986 votes · ·
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What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2303 votes · ·
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My grandad has the heart of a lion…
…and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2716 votes · ·
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My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1711 votes · ·
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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!
1565 votes · ·

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