Clean Jokes About Food & Drink | Good Bad Jokes

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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3685 votes · ·
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And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2358 votes · ·
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How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2445 votes · ·
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What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!
3328 votes · ·
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The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2289 votes · ·
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Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
3562 votes · ·
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How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it!
2710 votes · ·
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What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wasa-b!
2734 votes · ·
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What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
4507 votes · ·
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3168 votes · ·
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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2635 votes · ·
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A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2302 votes · ·
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Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?" The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
2538 votes · ·
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What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear!
3191 votes · ·
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What do you call a sketchy neighbourhood in Italy?
A Spaghetto!
2699 votes · ·

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