Clean Jokes About Professions | Good Bad Jokes

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I've got a great joke about construction…
but I'm still working on it!
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What do you call a magician dog?
A labracadabador!
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What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope!
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Why don't mathematicians fear Friday the 13th?
Because they know it's just another irrational fear!
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I bought a dog from a locksmith.
As soon as we got home it made a bolt for the door!
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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a job.
The bartender says "A talking dog! You should be in the circus!" The dog says "Why would a circus need a bartender?"
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How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve!
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Why can't you hear a psychiatrist go to the bathroom?
Because the 'P' is silent!
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A magician was walking down the street.
Then, he turned into a grocery store!
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They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian…
Well, they're not laughing now!
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What do an anesthesiologist and an Italian mother have in common?
The first question out of their mouth is always "How long has it been since you ate?"
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Doctor, Doctor, I'm shrinking!
I'm sorry sir, you'll have to be a little patient.
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Why are pediatricians always angry?
They have little patients!
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What's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty!
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My doctor said he's been practicing for 30 years.
When will he start doing his job for real?
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