Dad Jokes About Professions | Good Bad Jokes

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5775 votes · ·
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4455 votes · ·
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
3737 votes · ·
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Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was too far out!
3335 votes · ·
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What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
José and Hose B.
2256 votes · ·
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What are a ninja's favourite type of shoes?
Sneakers!
2282 votes · ·
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What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator.
2725 votes · ·
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I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2598 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1897 votes · ·
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2124 votes · ·
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What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private Tutor!
1927 votes · ·
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How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve!
2 votes · ·
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What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller!
2 votes · ·
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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
2 votes · ·
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What do you call a cop in bed?
A pig in a blanket!
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