19 Actually Funny Doctor Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

▲+1053▼
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him: "You need to stop masturbating."
"Why?" the man asks. The doctor replies: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
2551 votes · ·
▲+746▼
A man goes into the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum.
The doctors described his condition as stable.
1826 votes · ·
▲+726▼
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
2424 votes · ·
▲+514▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2596 votes · ·
▲+508▼
A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.
The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
1882 votes · ·
▲+1▼
What’s the award for being the best dentist?
A little plaque!
3 votes · ·
▲+1▼
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo".
1 vote · ·
▲+1▼
What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope!
1 vote · ·
▲0▼
What's the difference between the oral and the rectal thermometers?
The taste!
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
What do an anesthesiologist and an Italian mother have in common?
The first question out of their mouth is always "How long has it been since you ate?"
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Doctor, Doctor, I'm shrinking!
I'm sorry sir, you'll have to be a little patient.
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Why are pediatricians always angry?
They have little patients!
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Did you hear about the man who accidentally drank some invisible ink?
He's in the hospital emergency room, waiting to be seen!
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Doctor: “Sir, your test results show that your DNA is backwards.”
Patient: “AND?!”
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist go to the bathroom?
Because the 'P' is silent!
0 votes · ·

« Prev12 Next »

Displaying Joke 1 – 15 of 19 in total