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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil!
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What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine!
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What did one elevator say to another elevator?
I think I'm coming down with something!
1 vote · ·
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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
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What kind of car does an egg drive?
A Yolkswagen!
2 votes · ·
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Noideer!
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What are caterpillars afraid of?
Dogerpillers!
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What did the dwarf say to the pint of beer?
I could drink you under the table!
2 votes · ·
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Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose!
2 votes · ·
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Whats the difference between the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper?
Nothing, they both orbit Uranus wiping out Klingons!
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Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
2 votes · ·
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What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?
You crack me up!
1 vote · ·
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Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
1 vote · ·
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My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
729 votes · ·
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Did you hear the joke about the king?
It ruled!
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