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What did one twin say to the other?
There's not enough womb in here for the two of us!
2734 votes · ·
▲+327▼
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Eye-matey!
2737 votes · ·
▲-178▼
Why did the snowman have a smiley face?
Because he heard the snowblower was coming!
3742 votes · ·
▲+218▼
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?
Feyoncé!
2902 votes · ·
▲+932▼
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
3376 votes · ·
▲-811▼
What rhymes with "boo" and really stinks?
You!
3493 votes · ·
▲+2705▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5241 votes · ·
▲-1810▼
What's colourful and smart?
A brainbow!
4094 votes · ·
▲+1668▼
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!"
3812 votes · ·
▲+233▼
What did Snow White say when she came out of the photobooth?
Someday my prints will come…
2715 votes · ·
▲+680▼
Why cant zoo animals take tests?
There are too many cheetahs!
3269 votes · ·
▲-1030▼
Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?
It was driving down the road when it suddenly turned into a field!
3884 votes · ·
▲+852▼
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was too far out!
3334 votes · ·
▲+807▼
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
3559 votes · ·
▲+872▼
What do you do when there's a sink standing outside your door?
You let that sink in.
3274 votes · ·

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