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▲+127▼
What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?
Ones really heavy, and the other's a little lighter!
1809 votes · ·
▲+1192▼
And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2358 votes · ·
▲+191▼
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shellfies!
1755 votes · ·
▲-338▼
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
2678 votes · ·
▲+886▼
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they're never gonna meet.
2062 votes · ·
▲+213▼
What do you call Batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale!
1961 votes · ·
▲+410▼
Who's the king of the classroom?
The Ruler!
2010 votes · ·
▲-216▼
Where does Frosty keep his cash?
In the snow banks!
1878 votes · ·
▲+156▼
What kind of dinosaur has the biggest vocabulary?
A Thesaurus!
2014 votes · ·
▲+696▼
What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2150 votes · ·
▲+159▼
What do you call a guy with no shins?
Toe-knee!
1891 votes · ·
▲-78▼
What is the number one cause of divorce?
Marriage!
4426 votes · ·
▲+727▼
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
4507 votes · ·
▲+2467▼
What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
5917 votes · ·
▲-1030▼
Where do skunks go to pray?
The pew!
2736 votes · ·

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