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▲-331▼
Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home!
2521 votes · ·
▲+516▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2600 votes · ·
▲-1126▼
How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms!
3360 votes · ·
▲+1560▼
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3686 votes · ·
▲+509▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2637 votes · ·
▲+2157▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3895 votes · ·
▲+419▼
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2303 votes · ·
▲+738▼
What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wasa-b!
2736 votes · ·
▲+1874▼
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
4088 votes · ·
▲-918▼
Why did the cowboy buy a weiner dog?
To get along little doggy!
2600 votes · ·
▲+1154▼
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
3504 votes · ·
▲+533▼
What do you call a computer that sings?
Adell!
2697 votes · ·
▲+709▼
Why do vampires believe everything you tell them?
Because they're suckers!
2252 votes · ·
▲+1445▼
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
3409 votes · ·
▲+1135▼
What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?
Mufasa!
3913 votes · ·

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