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▲+2712▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5250 votes · ·
▲+1670▼
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!"
3816 votes · ·
▲+629▼
What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
3063 votes · ·
▲-1215▼
What is made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones!
3071 votes · ·
▲+301▼
What do you call a sketchy neighbourhood in Italy?
A Spaghetto!
2699 votes · ·
▲+1746▼
Knock knock.
Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
3410 votes · ·
▲+1503▼
What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
3538 votes · ·
▲-599▼
What do you call a microbiologist in an orchestra?
A cell-ist!
1977 votes · ·
▲+1737▼
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
3563 votes · ·
▲+484▼
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent!
3222 votes · ·
▲-499▼
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
2009 votes · ·
▲-151▼
Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a turd on her head?
Because William Shatner!
1997 votes · ·
▲+711▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1985 votes · ·
▲+919▼
The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2291 votes · ·
▲+191▼
My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1710 votes · ·

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