74 One-Liner Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

▲+3081▼
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5786 votes · ·
▲+2714▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5256 votes · ·
▲+2447▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4466 votes · ·
▲+2158▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3898 votes · ·
▲+1618▼
My grandad has the heart of a lion…
…and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2716 votes · ·
▲+1300▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3006 votes · ·
▲+937▼
I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2127 votes · ·
▲+920▼
The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2292 votes · ·
▲+914▼
Helen Keller walks into a bar...
then a chair, then the wall.
2850 votes · ·
▲+888▼
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they're never gonna meet.
2064 votes · ·
▲+744▼
A man goes into the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum.
The doctors described his condition as stable.
1828 votes · ·
▲+713▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1987 votes · ·
▲+671▼
Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2529 votes · ·
▲+512▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2640 votes · ·
▲+508▼
A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.
The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
1884 votes · ·

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