74 One-Liner Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

▲+3076▼
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5779 votes · ·
▲+2711▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5249 votes · ·
▲+2443▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4458 votes · ·
▲+2157▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3895 votes · ·
▲+1617▼
My grandad has the heart of a lion…
…and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2713 votes · ·
▲+1296▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3002 votes · ·
▲+934▼
I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2124 votes · ·
▲+918▼
The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2290 votes · ·
▲+914▼
Helen Keller walks into a bar...
then a chair, then the wall.
2850 votes · ·
▲+887▼
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they're never gonna meet.
2063 votes · ·
▲+746▼
A man goes into the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum.
The doctors described his condition as stable.
1826 votes · ·
▲+711▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1985 votes · ·
▲+671▼
Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2527 votes · ·
▲+508▼
A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.
The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
1882 votes · ·
▲+508▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2636 votes · ·

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