59 Clean Jokes One-Liners | Good Bad Jokes

▲+2705▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5241 votes · ·
▲+2442▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4453 votes · ·
▲+2155▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3891 votes · ·
▲+1296▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3000 votes · ·
▲+933▼
I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2121 votes · ·
▲+920▼
The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2288 votes · ·
▲+885▼
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they're never gonna meet.
2061 votes · ·
▲+710▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1984 votes · ·
▲+672▼
Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2524 votes · ·
▲+505▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
▲+492▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1812 votes · ·
▲+426▼
Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1170 votes · ·
▲+419▼
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2301 votes · ·
▲+346▼
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is!"
1872 votes · ·
▲+191▼
My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1710 votes · ·

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