267 Clean Jokes Puns | Good Bad Jokes

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Doctor, Doctor, I'm shrinking!
I'm sorry sir, you'll have to be a little patient.
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Why are pediatricians always angry?
They have little patients!
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My wife gave me an ultimatum: it's either her, or my addiction to sweets…
The decision was a piece of cake!
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Why don't mathematicians fear Friday the 13th?
Because they know it's just another irrational fear!
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Why are dogs bad at dancing?
They have two left feet!
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I can't take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to bite him.
My fault for getting one that's pure bred...
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Person 1: “My dog has no nose!” Person 2: “How does he smell?”
Person 1: “Terrible!”
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What do you call a dancing chicken?
Poultry in motion!
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What do you call a dog on a submarine?
A subwoofer!
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Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?
He lies awake at night and wonders if there really is a dog.
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How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve!
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What do you call a magician who's lost his magic?
Ian!
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What kind of frog is part Polish?
A tadpole!
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What do you call flat Mountain Dew?
Plateau Dew!
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So my wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turns out she just wanted to do laundry.
So I folded.
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