295 Dad Jokes Puns | Good Bad Jokes

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What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator.
2725 votes · ·
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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1969 votes · ·
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What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener!
2541 votes · ·
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Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands! (This joke never gets old.)
1360 votes · ·
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What do you call a computer that sings?
Adell!
2698 votes · ·
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3169 votes · ·
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I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2600 votes · ·
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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2640 votes · ·
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I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1816 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1900 votes · ·
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How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1935 votes · ·
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How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1904 votes · ·
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Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1892 votes · ·
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What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
2112 votes · ·
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2125 votes · ·

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