495 Top Rated Jokes — Voted Best by Our Readers | Good Bad Jokes

▲+460▼
A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
1668 votes · ·
▲+454▼
What does a vegan zombie eat?
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!!
1770 votes · ·
▲+450▼
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
2086 votes · ·
▲+448▼
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private Tutor!
1926 votes · ·
▲+446▼
What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunderpants
1834 votes · ·
▲+440▼
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick
3764 votes · ·
▲+426▼
Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1170 votes · ·
▲+426▼
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
2164 votes · ·
▲+424▼
Why did the cyclops close his school?
Because he only had one pupil!
1831 votes · ·
▲+419▼
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2301 votes · ·
▲+412▼
Who invented the round table?
Sir Cumference!
1234 votes · ·
▲+409▼
Who's the king of the classroom?
The Ruler!
2009 votes · ·
▲+392▼
What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?
Bye Son!
1774 votes · ·
▲+383▼
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?" The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
2536 votes · ·
▲+376▼
Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?
Because they would steal all the boos!
1116 votes · ·

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