495 Top Rated Jokes — Voted Best by Our Readers | Good Bad Jokes

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A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.
The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
1882 votes · ·
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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1896 votes · ·
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What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died?
His korea is over!
1755 votes · ·
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I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1812 votes · ·
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How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1933 votes · ·
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent!
3221 votes · ·
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Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1888 votes · ·
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What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
2109 votes · ·
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How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1898 votes · ·
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2123 votes · ·
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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto
2859 votes · ·
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What did the shoes say to the pants?
SUP, BRITCHES!
1939 votes · ·
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What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Attire!
1262 votes · ·
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares their dogs too much.
2521 votes · ·

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