Most Divisive Professions Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

▲+3076▼
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5779 votes · ·
▲+2712▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5250 votes · ·
▲+2445▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4460 votes · ·
▲+122▼
How do you make a clown cry?
You kill his family.
3400 votes · ·
▲-1159▼
What did the Lawyer say to the other Lawyer?
We are both Lawyers.
3491 votes · ·
▲+1790▼
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
3738 votes · ·
▲+855▼
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was too far out!
3337 votes · ·
▲+605▼
What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator.
2725 votes · ·
▲-7▼
What's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty!
2643 votes · ·
▲+516▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2600 votes · ·
▲+1059▼
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him: "You need to stop masturbating."
"Why?" the man asks. The doctor replies: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
2569 votes · ·
▲+781▼
What are a ninja's favourite type of shoes?
Sneakers!
2283 votes · ·
▲+852▼
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
José and Hose B.
2260 votes · ·
▲+473▼
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2125 votes · ·
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What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?
A branch manager!
2007 votes · ·

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