34 Dirty Jokes for Adults | Good Bad Jokes

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What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope!
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How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
Pull down your pants and show him your nuts!
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Whats the difference between the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper?
Nothing, they both orbit Uranus wiping out Klingons!
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Whats the worst thing about being an egg?
You only get laid once and it's by your mother!
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Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a dog with no back legs and balls of steel?
Sparky!
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What's the difference between the oral and the rectal thermometers?
The taste!
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How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder.
1884 votes · ·
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Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a turd on her head?
Because William Shatner!
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Why did the snowman have a smiley face?
Because he heard the snowblower was coming!
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Have you ever smelled moth balls?
Yes. How did you manage to get his little legs open?
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What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
It smells like carrots out here!
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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!
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What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut!
1780 votes · ·
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What's the difference between a chick pea and a potato?
You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you!
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