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▲-481▼
Why do penguins walk softly?
Because they can't walk hardly.
1805 votes · ·
▲0▼
How can you tell how heavy a chili pepper is?
You put it on a scale and give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
2 votes · ·
▲+2442▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4457 votes · ·
▲-243▼
What's the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
One you'll see in a while and the other you'll see later!
1627 votes · ·
▲+1▼
Why does a tuna age about five times faster than a human?
Because tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes!
1 vote · ·
▲0▼
What do you call fairy tales told really, really quickly?
ASAP's fables!
6 votes · ·
▲+2▼
I often tell Dad jokes.
Sometimes, he even laughs!
8 votes · ·
▲+1872▼
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
4086 votes · ·
▲+1▼
How do lawyers say goodbye?
We'll be suing ya!
1 vote · ·
▲+219▼
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?
Feyoncé!
2903 votes · ·
▲+534▼
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands! (This joke never gets old.)
1358 votes · ·
▲+1▼
An inebriated dwarf stumbles into a bar.
Dwarf: Hey, barkeep, a pint of beer pease. Bartender: Sorry mate, I cant serve you. Dwarf: Why not? Bartender: Because you're a little drunk!
1 vote · ·
▲+463▼
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares their dogs too much.
2525 votes · ·
▲+3▼
Did you hear the guy who invented the wind chill factor died yesterday?
He was 87, but only felt 75.
7 votes · ·
▲+2111▼
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
4461 votes · ·

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