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What do you call a pig who's lost his voice?
Disgruntled!
1 vote · ·
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Why do dogs float?
Because they're good buoys!
1 vote · ·
▲+494▼
What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died?
His korea is over!
1756 votes · ·
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Why was the constipated accountant fired?
He couldn't budget.
1 vote · ·
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What's a Leper's favorite musical?
Footloose!
1 vote · ·
▲+312▼
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo Drizzle
2132 votes · ·
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A clown is eating 2 cannibals.
"Who tastes funny now?" said the clown.
2 votes · ·
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Knock knock.
Who's there?Murray.Murray who?
Murray Christmas!
1 vote · ·
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What do we want? LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES!
When do we want them? NNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWwwwwwwww…
0 votes · ·
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What's the difference between the oral and the rectal thermometers?
The taste!
2 votes · ·
▲-148▼
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder.
1884 votes · ·
▲+151▼
My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
729 votes · ·
▲+104▼
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
3276 votes · ·
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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3685 votes · ·
▲+452▼
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
2088 votes · ·

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