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▲-1▼
I like mountains…
But volcanoes are ash holes.
1 vote · ·
▲+2▼
Why are German people stocking up on sausage and cheese?
They're preparing for a wurst kase scenario!
2 votes · ·
▲-120▼
Two guys walk into a bar…
The third guy ducks.
2762 votes · ·
▲+3▼
What did Yoda say after seeing himself in HD?
HDMI!
3 votes · ·
▲+1084▼
How do you catch a bra?
With a booby trap!
2458 votes · ·
▲+2▼
Why shouldn't you wear glasses when you play football?
Because it's a contact sport!
2 votes · ·
▲+386▼
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?" The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
2539 votes · ·
▲+2▼
What's the difference between the oral and the rectal thermometers?
The taste!
2 votes · ·
▲+993▼
Did you hear about that new movie called "Constipation"?
No? That's because it hasn't come out yet...
2219 votes · ·
▲-1▼
What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope!
3 votes · ·
▲+2▼
I quit my job after what the boss said to me.
What did he say? Youre fired!
2 votes · ·
▲+5▼
I'm writing a book about WD-40.
It's Non-Friction.
5 votes · ·
▲+2▼
What do you call a wizard that has run out of spells?
A was-ard!
2 votes · ·
▲+152▼
My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
730 votes · ·
▲+1▼
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
1 vote · ·

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