44 Dad Jokes One-Liners | Good Bad Jokes

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5786 votes · ·
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4466 votes · ·
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3898 votes · ·
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I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3006 votes · ·
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I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2127 votes · ·
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Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2529 votes · ·
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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2640 votes · ·
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I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1816 votes · ·
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Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1174 votes · ·
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A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2305 votes · ·
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Always trust people who like big butts.
They cannot lie.
1661 votes · ·
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A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
3087 votes · ·
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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
6 votes · ·
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My dog used to chase people on a bike.
It got so bad, I had to take his bike away!
5 votes · ·
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I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.
I got thesaurus throat I've ever had!
6 votes · ·

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