44 Dad Jokes One-Liners | Good Bad Jokes

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5779 votes · ·
▲+2443▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4458 votes · ·
▲+2157▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3895 votes · ·
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I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3002 votes · ·
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I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2124 votes · ·
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Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2527 votes · ·
▲+508▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2636 votes · ·
▲+494▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1814 votes · ·
▲+427▼
Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1171 votes · ·
▲+419▼
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2303 votes · ·
▲+330▼
Always trust people who like big butts.
They cannot lie.
1660 votes · ·
▲+143▼
A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
3085 votes · ·
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Poop jokes aren't my favorite kind of dad jokes...
But they are a solid number two!
6 votes · ·
▲+5▼
My dog used to chase people on a bike.
It got so bad, I had to take his bike away!
4 votes · ·
▲+5▼
I'm writing a book about WD-40.
It's Non-Friction.
5 votes · ·

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