283 Dad Jokes Puns | Good Bad Jokes

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I just found out I'm colorblind.
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple!
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A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
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What do you call the Easter Bunny the day after Easter?
Irrelevant.
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Doctor: “Sir, your test results show that your DNA is backwards.”
Patient: “AND?!”
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What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
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What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
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Why can't you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
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How do you organize a party in outer space?
You planet.
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How does the solar system hold up its pants?
With an asteroid belt.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?Jupiter.Jupiter who?
Jupiter hurry up and open this door!
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I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.
I got thesaurus throat I've ever had!
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Why was the constipated accountant fired?
He couldn't budget.
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What’s a dog’s favorite band?
Styx!
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At any given moment, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is only just a whim away…
A whim away. A whim away.
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Why did the French chef put on sweatpants?
He wanted to get confit!
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