508 Top Rated Jokes — Voted Best by Our Readers | Good Bad Jokes

▲+616▼
What did one hat say to another?
You stay here, I'll go on a head!
1992 votes · ·
▲+605▼
What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator.
2725 votes · ·
▲+601▼
What did the perverted frog say?
"Rubbit"
2067 votes · ·
▲+583▼
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1969 votes · ·
▲+570▼
What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
2453 votes · ·
▲+569▼
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener!
2541 votes · ·
▲+568▼
A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street. A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up and says, "What the fuck was *that* all about!?"
2114 votes · ·
▲+565▼
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. The Extra Testicle!
2579 votes · ·
▲+557▼
What did batman say to robin before they got in the car?
"Get in the car."
3487 votes · ·
▲+551▼
What did the overly excited gardner do when spring finally arrived?
He wet his plants!
1897 votes · ·
▲+536▼
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands! (This joke never gets old.)
1360 votes · ·
▲+534▼
What do you call a computer that sings?
Adell!
2698 votes · ·
▲+526▼
Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?
Because she's probably thick and tired of it!
2296 votes · ·
▲+517▼
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3169 votes · ·
▲+516▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2600 votes · ·

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