Top Rated Animals Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street. A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up and says, "What the fuck was *that* all about!?"
2114 votes · ·
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent!
3223 votes · ·
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How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1904 votes · ·
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What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
2112 votes · ·
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares their dogs too much.
2528 votes · ·
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Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1174 votes · ·
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What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?
Bye Son!
1779 votes · ·
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What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!
2121 votes · ·
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What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear!
3192 votes · ·
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Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
2006 votes · ·
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How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off it's tail... it will be delighted!
1719 votes · ·
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What did the pony say when he sang with a sore throat?
Sorry, I'm just a little hoarse!
1604 votes · ·
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What do you call a cow with no arms and no legs?
Ground beef!
3254 votes · ·
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What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shellfies!
1756 votes · ·
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What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat?
Banned from the petting zoo!
743 votes · ·

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