119 Actually Funny Animal Jokes That Are Paws-itively Funny | Good Bad Jokes

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Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1172 votes · ·
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What's the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
One you'll see in a while and the other you'll see later!
1627 votes · ·
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What did the doe say coming out of the woods?
Boy, I'll never do that again for two bucks!
1204 votes · ·
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What does an elephant use for a tampon?
A sheep!
2080 votes · ·
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A man goes into the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum.
The doctors described his condition as stable.
1827 votes · ·
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What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?
Ones really heavy, and the other's a little lighter!
1809 votes · ·
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I witnessed an attempted murder earlier…
Luckily only one crow showed up!
1946 votes · ·
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What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shellfies!
1756 votes · ·
▲+156▼
What kind of dinosaur has the biggest vocabulary?
A Thesaurus!
2014 votes · ·
▲+197▼
What do you call a cow with no arms and no legs?
Ground beef!
3253 votes · ·
▲-742▼
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroking off!
5098 votes · ·
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Where do skunks go to pray?
The pew!
2736 votes · ·
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How many lives does a Nazi cat have?
Nien!
3370 votes · ·
▲-260▼
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
4244 votes · ·
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Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!"
3816 votes · ·

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