119 Actually Funny Animal Jokes That Are Paws-itively Funny | Good Bad Jokes

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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1967 votes · ·
▲+361▼
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!
2121 votes · ·
▲+337▼
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off it's tail... it will be delighted!
1719 votes · ·
▲-416▼
Where do cows go for a first date?
To the moooovies!
2342 votes · ·
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Who told the gorilla that he couldn't go to the ballet?
Just the people who are in charge of that decision.
3247 votes · ·
▲+687▼
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're dead.
2927 votes · ·
▲-199▼
Have you ever smelled moth balls?
Yes. How did you manage to get his little legs open?
2425 votes · ·
▲+248▼
What did the pony say when he sang with a sore throat?
Sorry, I'm just a little hoarse!
1604 votes · ·
▲+63▼
What would bears be without bees?
Ears!
1707 votes · ·
▲+941▼
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam.
2633 votes · ·
▲-165▼
Two cows are standing in a field.
One cow says "MOOOOO!" The other cow says pretty much the same thing.
2539 votes · ·
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What do you call a donkey with a millon eyes and a millon legs?
A monster.
2521 votes · ·
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A horse walks into a bar.
Several patrons got up and left as they recognized the potential danger in the situation.
2479 votes · ·
▲+780▼
Two bananas are lying on a riverbank when a turd goes floating by.
The turd yells to the bananas, "hey guys, come on in, the water feels great!" One banana looks at the other banana and says, "do you believe that shit?"
2208 votes · ·
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What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator.
2725 votes · ·

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