318 Dad Jokes that will leave you grounded.

• ▲-390▼

  What do you call a fish with two knees?

  A tunee fish!

  2896 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1296▼

  I sold my vacuum the other day…

  all it was doing was collecting dust!

  3000 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1789▼

  Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

  He was outstanding in his field!

  3735 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+246▼

  What did one wall say to the other?

  Meet you at the corner!

  3032 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-1609▼

  What do rappers use in their laundry?

  Bleeee-otch!

  3433 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-332▼

  Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?

  The Old Volks home!

  2520 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+514▼

  I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?

  Stay out of those places!

  2596 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1806▼

  What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

  Snow balls!

  4024 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-1127▼

  How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

  You take away their little brooms!

  3359 votes · Copy ·

• ▲-529▼

  What did the astronaut's fiancée say when he proposed in open space?

  I can't breathe!

  2621 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+1558▼

  How did the hipster burn his mouth?

  He sipped his coffee before it was cool!

  3682 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+505▼

  A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.

  The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"

  2633 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+2153▼

  Two satellites decided to get married.

  The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!

  3889 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+419▼

  A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.

  The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

  2301 votes · Copy ·

• ▲+734▼

  What did sushi A say to sushi B?

  Wasa-b!

  2730 votes · Copy ·