Clean Jokes About Family & Relationships | Good Bad Jokes

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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3895 votes · ·
▲+711▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1985 votes · ·
▲+709▼
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2303 votes · ·
▲+697▼
What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2151 votes · ·
▲+429▼
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
2167 votes · ·
▲+393▼
What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?
Bye Son!
1777 votes · ·
▲+243▼
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long!
1761 votes · ·
▲+191▼
My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1710 votes · ·
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My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
730 votes · ·
▲+27▼
What didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
2225 votes · ·
▲+7▼
How does a polygamist hippie count his wives?
1 Mrs. Hippie. 2 Mrs. Hippie. 3 Mrs. Hippie…
9 votes · ·
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When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
5 votes · ·
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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
4 votes · ·
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I often tell Dad jokes.
Sometimes, he even laughs!
8 votes · ·
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It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
It's a faux pa.
2 votes · ·

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