Top Rated Family & Relationships Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3898 votes · ·
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My grandad has the heart of a lion…
…and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2716 votes · ·
▲+713▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1987 votes · ·
▲+709▼
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2303 votes · ·
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What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2152 votes · ·
▲+430▼
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
2168 votes · ·
▲+393▼
What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?
Bye Son!
1779 votes · ·
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Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long!
1761 votes · ·
▲+192▼
My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1711 votes · ·
▲+152▼
My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
730 votes · ·
▲+28▼
What didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
2226 votes · ·
▲+25▼
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila!!
2607 votes · ·
▲+11▼
How does a polygamist hippie count his wives?
1 Mrs. Hippie. 2 Mrs. Hippie. 3 Mrs. Hippie…
13 votes · ·
▲+9▼
Whats the worst thing about being an egg?
You only get laid once and it's by your mother!
15 votes · ·
▲+6▼
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
6 votes · ·

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