Top Rated Food & Drink Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3682 votes · ·
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And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2358 votes · ·
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How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2442 votes · ·
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What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!
3326 votes · ·
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The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2287 votes · ·
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe dammit, BREATHE!
2512 votes · ·
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Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
3559 votes · ·
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How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it!
2707 votes · ·
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Two bananas are lying on a riverbank when a turd goes floating by.
The turd yells to the bananas, "hey guys, come on in, the water feels great!" One banana looks at the other banana and says, "do you believe that shit?"
2197 votes · ·
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What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wasa-b!
2730 votes · ·
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What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
4505 votes · ·
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3167 votes · ·
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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1894 votes · ·
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A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
1668 votes · ·

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