Top Rated Food & Drink Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3687 votes · ·
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And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2361 votes · ·
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How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2447 votes · ·
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What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!
3329 votes · ·
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The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2292 votes · ·
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe dammit, BREATHE!
2513 votes · ·
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Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
3565 votes · ·
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How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it!
2712 votes · ·
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Two bananas are lying on a riverbank when a turd goes floating by.
The turd yells to the bananas, "hey guys, come on in, the water feels great!" One banana looks at the other banana and says, "do you believe that shit?"
2210 votes · ·
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What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wasa-b!
2736 votes · ·
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What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
4507 votes · ·
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3169 votes · ·
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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2640 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1900 votes · ·
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A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
1669 votes · ·

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