256 of The Best Dad Jokes on the Internet | Good Bad Jokes

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5773 votes · ·
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4451 votes · ·
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get in!
4867 votes · ·
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3889 votes · ·
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
4458 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
4080 votes · ·
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
3735 votes · ·
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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3682 votes · ·
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Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.
3082 votes · ·
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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
3406 votes · ·
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball!
3406 votes · ·
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Why should you not write with a dull pencil?
Because it's pointless.
3073 votes · ·
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I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3000 votes · ·
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Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted!
2906 votes · ·
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Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because they lift their spirits!
3261 votes · ·

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