320 of The Best Dad Jokes on the Internet | Good Bad Jokes

▲+613▼
What did one hat say to another?
You stay here, I'll go on a head!
1989 votes · ·
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What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator.
2724 votes · ·
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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1964 votes · ·
▲+569▼
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener!
2537 votes · ·
▲+533▼
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands! (This joke never gets old.)
1357 votes · ·
▲+532▼
What do you call a computer that sings?
Adell!
2692 votes · ·
▲+517▼
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3167 votes · ·
▲+514▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2596 votes · ·
▲+505▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1896 votes · ·
▲+492▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1812 votes · ·
▲+491▼
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1933 votes · ·
▲+480▼
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1888 votes · ·
▲+479▼
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
2109 votes · ·
▲+478▼
How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1898 votes · ·

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